The waiter hadn’t even taken the order before Emeka started.
“I have a question.”
Shola rolled her eyes.
“Whenever you say that, somebody will leave this table confused.”
He ignored her.
“Do you think we’ve romanticized marriage too much?”
Silence.
Because nobody wanted to answer first.
“Where did that come from?” Norma asked.
Emeka shrugged.
“I was on Instagram.”
“There’s your first mistake,” Musa laughed.
Everybody joined in.
“I’m serious,” Emeka continued. “Every time I open that app, marriage looks like a highlight reel. Surprise trips. Candlelit dinners. Matching pajamas. ‘My forever person.’”
“So?” Shola asked.
“So… what happens after all that?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… when life becomes normal again.”
The table went quiet.
“You know,” Atim said, “I don’t think people are scared of marriage.”
“What do you think they’re scared of?” Musa asked.
She thought for a moment.
“I think they’re scared of the ordinary.”
“The ordinary?” Emeka frowned.
“Yes.”
“The days when nobody is posting anniversary pictures.”
“The months when money is tight.”
“The evenings when you’re both tired.”
“The conversations about bills, family, work… and who’s forgotten to buy toothpaste again.”
Everybody laughed.
“I think social media has done something to us,” Shola said.
“It has made us believe that love should always feel exciting.”
“But real life isn’t exciting every day.”
“It can’t be.”
Norma smiled.
“I used to think the biggest question was, ‘Can I spend the rest of my life with this person?’”
She paused.
“But these days, I wonder if the better question is…”
“Can we enjoy an ordinary Tuesday, any day, together?”
Nobody spoke immediately.
Musa finally broke the silence.
“I think that’s why friendship matters.”
Everybody looked at him.
“If the butterflies calm down…”
He smiled.
“…what’s left should still make you want to come home.”
Emeka nodded slowly.
“So maybe we’re asking the wrong questions.”
“Maybe instead of asking whether someone gives you butterflies…”
He grinned.
“…ask yourself if you’d still enjoy gist with them when NEPA takes light for six hours.”
The table burst into laughter.
Now that…
That sounded like real life.
Norma looked around the table.
“I don’t think marriage is sustained by grand gestures.”
“I think it’s built in the small moments.”
“The conversations.”
“The forgiveness.”
“The shared jokes.”
“The comfort of being fully known.”
Before everyone stood up to leave, Atim asked one last question.
“If all the beautiful moments were taken away…”
“No pictures.”
“No captions.”
“No audience.”
“Would you still choose that person?”
Let’s talk.
When you think about marriage, what do you believe keeps two people together after the wedding is over?
I think I quite agree with Musa.
Friendship; this is what matters most.
In friendship, we see two people who are naked and not ashamed, two people who enjoy each other’s companionship, two people who can stand the test of time when the butterflies die down.
Yes, social media has deceived us a great deal.
Marriage goes beyond the pictures, matching outfits, and the rest.
It is two people agreeing to do life together, build together, endure together, be happy and sad together, and be friends forever.
Yes, friendship is all that matters. No wonder they say, “marry your friend”. Thank you very much for input.