Anyone Can Be a Father, But Not Everyone Can Be a Dad…

Today is Father’s Day.

I scrolled through my WhatsApp status updates this morning.
Photos of men in agbada, some grinning beside cars, some holding babies, some absent but dearly remembered.

Captions like “My Hero,” “Forever Daddy,” “Rest On Papa,” and “The First Man I Ever Loved.”
It’s Father’s Day, and everyone’s showing love to the men who raised them…or tried to.

But me? I paused. My heart full. Not with confusion… no. With deep gratitude.
Because I didn’t just have a father. I had a dad.

You see, in Nigeria, it’s common to hear someone say,
“My papa no dey house,”
or
“Na my mama train me,”
or
“I no too sabi my father like that.”

And it’s not always bitterness. Sometimes, it’s just a fact.

Some fathers are present, but not available.
Some show up for birthdays and school fees, but not for broken hearts or broken dreams.

But my story…it’s different.

I remember small Blessing, legs swinging on a church bench, looking at my dad as he adjusted the mic to preach.
His voice firm, but gentle. His eyes scanning the congregation… until they met mine. And he smiled.
That smile meant, “I see you.”
Even in a crowd, he saw me.

I remember during the WAEC exams season when NEPA took light and I had to read with a lantern.
He’d keep checking on me, to make sure I close the books and sleep when my brain needed it. 

My dad, he called me beautiful before any boy ever did.
He corrected me in love. He believed in my writing even when I wasn’t sure what I was doing.
He taught me to speak up, stand tall, pray deeply, and love fiercely.

He was there…not just for the milestones, but for the mundane:
Morning tea and bread.
Walking me to the junction in the rain.
Waiting in silence when I needed time.
Praying aloud over me.

It’s easy to make a child.
But it takes strength, humility, presence, patience… and love… to raise one well.
To be more than just a provider.
To be a listener. A guide. A shield. A friend.

So today, I celebrate fathers. But more than that, I celebrate dads.
Men who show up.
Men who stay.
Men who apologize.
Men who protect without controlling.
Men who raise daughters with confidence, not fear.

To the fathers trying to be better…we see you.
To the ones who’ve always been dads… thank you.
And to mine… the man whose love still steadies me… Happy Father’s Day.

May every girl have at least one man who makes her feel safe in this world.
And may more men choose to be dads, not just fathers.